An email that changed everything

I received this email from my long time friend Kim Fiske. It was timely and just what I needed.

You can read it here

The difference is the group setting. For me it has a certain non incumbent feel to it. I don’t feel like I have to, but I want to instead.

We all have scars. Some inner, some outer. We all need healing. Give it a try while she’s offering the 7 day free trial.

Everything that I know about weight loss PT 2

Welcome to part 2. If you haven’t read part 1 you might want to begin there.

Everyone has cravings. Some of us are stress or emotional eaters. Sometimes we are bored, or sometimes we are tired.

Planning for possible slips helps a lot.

If you work long hours or find yourself too tired to think about dinners, then meal prepping may work to combat this and it’s super easy if you are eating lean and green dinners.

If you find the cravings do you in then the following items are fantastic to have on hand, along with a well stocked pantry full of the right foods and zero wrong foods. For that reason I haven’t bought Oreos in 15 years.

Here are my go to items

Smuckers sugar free caramel syrup to go on apples

Smuckers sugar free chocolate syrup to go on strawberries or bananas.

Sugar free chocolate chips

Whole grain gold fish

Frozen Greek yogurt pops

Sugar free popsicles

Real popcorn

Plenty of fruit

Sugar free brownie mix

Sugar free pudding

Sugar free jello

Fat free whipped topping

The rest of my kitchen is stocked with whole grains, meat, eggs, veggies. I use canned black beans, and white northern beans, canned tomatoes, and no sugar added fruit.

There is only one bad thing in my kitchen. Splenda. I’m trying haha.

A word to those of you who really don’t care for veggies or meat. Me either! I eat chicken or fish. I pair them with a salad and fruit on the side. Having fruit for dinner helps kill those sneaky sweet cravings and they are nutritious.

Moving your body and strength training are both very important for good health. While they won’t help a ton with weight loss there are other factors that can help with long term success. Strong muscles burn more calories. A body in motion is like a well oiled machine. It pumps blood to all the right places, reduces stress, and it is after all what our bodies are meant to do, move!

So if you are not into “exercise” That’s ok, just move your body. I love using a fitbit to keep me on track.

Part 3 up next

Everything that I know about Aging

I remember when I turned 40, there was a moment when I thought, hmmm I am half way to death. Then the moment left, life happened, and nothing changed. I didnt suddenly gain weight. There were not any grey hairs to be found, and my face didn’t suddenly wrinkle. Life was good. Actually my 40s were the best of years.

But slowly things began to change. At first it’s finding grey and running to have highlights added. Then frown lines join with smile lines, and stuff begins to hurt. Then 50 arrives. I remember thinking, hey you don’t look 50. I didn’t, but I was beginning to feel 50. I started to slow down which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but still a thing.

I remember the first time I realized that there was a younger person inside my aging body. I struggled with age appropriate style, and admired younger women for their ability to walk in heels, and cheesecake, I really admired cheesecake.

I never envisioned my limbs popping off with age, but by the time I was 54 I had received a brand new titanium hip. I named her Rosie after a burlesque dancer. By the time I received Rosie, in just a few short years my life had changed dramatically. Just like that. Not one parade, not a marching band, not even a party hat. Just farewell to who I was, hello new old person.

At 50 my moment of realization was recognizing that my existence on earth was limited. All of a sudden living a long healthy life with a multitude of possibilities was gone. There were new limitations, different possibilities.

Suddenly everything was done with urgency because I knew my time and abilities were now limited. The truth is they always have been, but for some reason we don’t live life like that.

So here is what I know

There are 3 stages of life. Each stage affects the next stage. What may not seem important now, will matter later. We are not given life to just be. We all have a purpose. Each of us.

In everything that you do you are setting an example, walking a path, becoming you.

Live life simply, easily, joyfully, and healthfully. Eat the cake, wear the clothes that bring you joy. Start taking care of your skin in your 20s, don’t lay in a tanning bed instead close your eyes and feel the warmth of the sun on your face, for just a moment.

Embrace your grey, be authentic, drink plenty of water and coffee, and eat only whole foods 6 days a week but on the 7th enjoy whatever you want. Have Sunday supper, take long walks, and hug. Hug the people you love, and hug the ones you don’t.

Save for retirement, say no to credit cards, and never live above your means.

Now read the last parts again. Do you understand my message?

Summer Bucket List for the rest of us

Every magazine, every list, all of the suggestions are geared towards younger people or young families. The fact is, the best time of life is when you’ve reached a place of peace, comfort, and less stress. There is still so much of life left to enjoy, and many enjoyable things to experience. So I’ve compiled a list. Wether you are sailing or biking being outside is really important. Vitamin D boosts all around.Let’s reduce stress. An adult pet is a good bet and sure to bring much joy.Of course there’s all of those previous moments spent with grandchildren.Here is the list for the rest of us. I hope you find them enjoyable, fun, and memorable.

Yesterday was a hard day!

I lost a precious woman in my life. I celebrated another precious woman.

It’s really hard to grieve one while celebrating another. This precious woman here was very special to me. She spoke softly and was always delighted to see me. Having someone who is genuinely happy in your presence is rare. She gave me back hugs. I had stopped hugging for many years but she insisted on those hugs. She offered advice in such a way that only a loving mother could. She was not mine but she did raise two lovely women who grieve and celebrate her today. Miss Lily will forever be anchored in the depth of my soul.

At the same time we were out of town celebrating my little Irish mother in laws 90th birthday. She is also someone who touched my soul in ways that would be too lengthy to write here.. In her life she has kissed the Blarney stone, petted a whale, and traveled the world. She also raised 6 very rambunctious boys and one petunia. The petunia is just as tough as her brothers.

So today was hard but while celebrating life and mourning a life gone one thing was certain, life is sudden. It is more sudden that we even realise. My husband and I pulled a 21 hour day, we are tired, but we know that love and life are precious gifts. Take neither for granted.

Women who side hustle and why they do it.

It’s relatively a new cliche’ “side hustle”. What is it, and why are women embracing it. Men also side hustle but I’m writing this with women in mind. Generally most women will fall under one of these;

  1. Boredom
  2. Extra income
  3. Gal pals
  4. A friend or family member sucked you in.
  5. You hate the 9-5 and dream of being a full time soleprenuer
  6. Discounts on products

So let’s talk about the different side hustle.

  1. Service- offering a service such as photography, dog grooming, babysitting, real estate etc.
  2. Product sales- involves selling a product either as retailer, auction style, or direct sales, or etsy sales.
  3. Digital products- selling digital products via etsy, amazon, or your own online site.

So let’s scroll back up to the first list. Boredom– if you are looking for something to fill in time but don’t want a commitment or to further a dream then volunteer work may be more suitable.

Extra income- the best way to achieve extra income would be to offer a service or digital product. The initial investment is usually zero to minimal.

A friend or family member sucked you in- more than likely this was not about you but about achieving their dreams not yours. If you joined a direct sales company there are things to consider. You can achieve your goals if you do the research first. Generally you will work your rear off for someone else’s goals and despite what you may have been told, joining doesn’t make you a business owner. The company can cancel its rep program or change the rules at anytime. Clever container did just that this year.

Dreams- If you are dreaming of being your own boss and ditching the 9-5 then make sure that your side hustle is inline with your goals. By starting out small you may be able to develop a sound customer base which will result in word of mouth referrals. Which are the best kind. You can also get a feel for your planned business and develop a niche.

Discounts- Not really a great reason to side hustle. You will likely spend more than you save.

Hallmark Holidays

I really dislike Hallmark Holidays. For years we have been conditioned to think that once a year, in celebration of love, we need cards to say the things that we should say everyday, or candy, flowers, or jewelry to show undying love.

It’s not just about the cheesiness of it, but also about the manipulation of it. We are constantly being manipulated into thinking that we need to do, say, or feel a certain way.

Just sit with that awhile. The realization that you are, or have been played for years should be enough to provoke a few palm head slaps. 🤦

You have choices. Sure picking up a card, or flowers is the easy way out, but is it really what your love wants?

Note: As I’m typing this my 8 year old grand daughter entered the room wanting to know if I got her a valentines gift. And so begins a new generation of hallmark holidays 🤦

Finding Joy in Homemaking

Homemaking use to be a way of living. Women took pride in their homemaking skills, and hosted dinner parties, garden parties, afternoon teas. They were not always as happy as they appeared, but it was not acceptable to express unhappiness, or complain so they also enjoyed the occasional afternoon alcoholic beverage.

In the 70s with more women heading to work, the need to balance it all and bring home the bacon became even more stressful. The art of homemaking fell away.

Fast forward to the Pinterest era.

Suddenly homemaking becomes fun again. From diy gardening inspiration to recipes for triple layer cakes the Pinterest movement has revived the joy in making a home feel like a home.

There are other differences in homemaking today. It’s no longer something with rules, or strict schedules. It’s fun, it brings joy, there’s a sense of accomplishment, and when we share the tasks with others, it promotes bonding.

So fluff the pillows, rearrange the furniture , line your cabinets. It’s okay if it’s not perfect, it took me a lot of years to unlearn that.

The Epidemic of Silence

Silence is golden. It isn’t polite to discuss religion. It’s inappropriate to talk politics. The cliches’ of generations, and the timeless etiquettes have all come to the proverbial fork in the road.

Sure, it’s still good manners to not discuss certain sensitive subjects in some situations. Of course, it’s better to listen well, and to be silent in some situations. However, it is situational.

The problem is that we confuse silence with being complacent. In today’s world of social media we have grown more afraid of offending others. So afraid that we allow them to silence us. When we are silent, they become louder.

Right now there are marches, protests, women wearing pink vagina hats, yelling and chanting. They are loud, filled with a purpose, and probably really cold. They do not speak for all women. Actually, it’s embarrassing. But you wouldn’t know that they are not representing all women because of the silence.

It’s the same with a lot of current issues. It seems to be an epidemic. I know a Trump supporter who will not say that she is a supporter. The last time that she did she was verbally attacked. Socially bullied.

I’ve seen instances when one group becomes so loud about their rights, that the rights of others are denied. This happens because of silence.

Small groups seem like the majority group because they are loudest. It’s a bully mentality. The silent group becomes the quiet child in a school yard. Which child gets the attention?

It’s time that the quiet, peace keepers, meek and bullied speak out.