An email that changed everything

I received this email from my long time friend Kim Fiske. It was timely and just what I needed.

You can read it here

The difference is the group setting. For me it has a certain non incumbent feel to it. I don’t feel like I have to, but I want to instead.

We all have scars. Some inner, some outer. We all need healing. Give it a try while she’s offering the 7 day free trial.

Seven Decades

I’ve lived through 7 decades. During those years I’ve witnessed history, learned, and relearned. Ive been incredibly thin, and very overweight. I’ve ran with the trends, only to settle with different.

I’ve spent most of my life battling illnesses and myself. I’ve suffered immeasurable losses, and been blessed with abundant blessings. I’ve lived in the city, and lived in the hollers of Tennessee. I’ve wiped more bottoms than I care to remember, and wiped away many tears. What I know is this.

Life really is just a matter of perception. There isn’t a right or wrong. There are values, manners, and morals that serve as guidelines for choices. It doesn’t matter who is pro choice, or prolife. The choice is yours, based on your own perceptions, formed by your personal guidelines.

It’s ok to not have kids, it’s ok to have a bunch of kids. The choice is yours and so is the responsibility.

You will not be any happier thin if you don’t find inner peace overweight. When you figure it out, acceptance will follow.

Stop shouting, shaming, bullying. I don’t want to know who you are sleeping with, my perception of you will be based on who you are as a human, not who you sleep with.

The generations now are completely missing the mark on marriage, family, and the entire institution of love. A family is your circle of love. It doesn’t matter who is in your circle. Marriage is a commitment, there will be days that will be extremely difficult, there will be other days that make you forget about the difficult ones. Stop being afraid of commitment.

Being in nature is the most important. walking barefoot, learning about all the things, and just being quiet is so vital to our health. You don’t need to run, hike, swim etc you just need to sit some where, be quiet, and wiggle your toes on the earth.

Lastly, what I know is this, life is incredibly short. We are here for a purpose. Maybe that purpose is the raise children, maybe it’s to discover a cure. It doesn’t matter, you will know.

Everything that I know about Aging

I remember when I turned 40, there was a moment when I thought, hmmm I am half way to death. Then the moment left, life happened, and nothing changed. I didnt suddenly gain weight. There were not any grey hairs to be found, and my face didn’t suddenly wrinkle. Life was good. Actually my 40s were the best of years.

But slowly things began to change. At first it’s finding grey and running to have highlights added. Then frown lines join with smile lines, and stuff begins to hurt. Then 50 arrives. I remember thinking, hey you don’t look 50. I didn’t, but I was beginning to feel 50. I started to slow down which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but still a thing.

I remember the first time I realized that there was a younger person inside my aging body. I struggled with age appropriate style, and admired younger women for their ability to walk in heels, and cheesecake, I really admired cheesecake.

I never envisioned my limbs popping off with age, but by the time I was 54 I had received a brand new titanium hip. I named her Rosie after a burlesque dancer. By the time I received Rosie, in just a few short years my life had changed dramatically. Just like that. Not one parade, not a marching band, not even a party hat. Just farewell to who I was, hello new old person.

At 50 my moment of realization was recognizing that my existence on earth was limited. All of a sudden living a long healthy life with a multitude of possibilities was gone. There were new limitations, different possibilities.

Suddenly everything was done with urgency because I knew my time and abilities were now limited. The truth is they always have been, but for some reason we don’t live life like that.

So here is what I know

There are 3 stages of life. Each stage affects the next stage. What may not seem important now, will matter later. We are not given life to just be. We all have a purpose. Each of us.

In everything that you do you are setting an example, walking a path, becoming you.

Live life simply, easily, joyfully, and healthfully. Eat the cake, wear the clothes that bring you joy. Start taking care of your skin in your 20s, don’t lay in a tanning bed instead close your eyes and feel the warmth of the sun on your face, for just a moment.

Embrace your grey, be authentic, drink plenty of water and coffee, and eat only whole foods 6 days a week but on the 7th enjoy whatever you want. Have Sunday supper, take long walks, and hug. Hug the people you love, and hug the ones you don’t.

Save for retirement, say no to credit cards, and never live above your means.

Now read the last parts again. Do you understand my message?

Yesterday was a hard day!

I lost a precious woman in my life. I celebrated another precious woman.

It’s really hard to grieve one while celebrating another. This precious woman here was very special to me. She spoke softly and was always delighted to see me. Having someone who is genuinely happy in your presence is rare. She gave me back hugs. I had stopped hugging for many years but she insisted on those hugs. She offered advice in such a way that only a loving mother could. She was not mine but she did raise two lovely women who grieve and celebrate her today. Miss Lily will forever be anchored in the depth of my soul.

At the same time we were out of town celebrating my little Irish mother in laws 90th birthday. She is also someone who touched my soul in ways that would be too lengthy to write here.. In her life she has kissed the Blarney stone, petted a whale, and traveled the world. She also raised 6 very rambunctious boys and one petunia. The petunia is just as tough as her brothers.

So today was hard but while celebrating life and mourning a life gone one thing was certain, life is sudden. It is more sudden that we even realise. My husband and I pulled a 21 hour day, we are tired, but we know that love and life are precious gifts. Take neither for granted.